“How sweet for those faring badly to forget their misfortunes even for a short time.” – Sophocles
Jim and his girlfriend had broken up last summer. In our recent conversation, he spoke candidly about himself:
“The pattern in my life is that I’ve needed a significant other to be okay, to have that love of another person. Now I’m in a place through meditation of finding myself. I’m learning that no human being can give me the love and joy that I get from asking for divine help. When I listen to chanting, I start crying. Now I don’t need anybody in my life. I want a partner but that partner has to be someone I can have a spiritual foundation with. That means the boxes need to be checked.”
A realtor from Los Angeles, Jim has Type I diabetes – a condition addressing how the body deals with sugar. He’s also a Date theme/signature essence, which means that the predominant strength shining through his personality is tender sweetness, a quality that both the date fruit and the Date Flower Essence express abundantly.
“My breakup last July wasn’t horrible,” Jim continued. “It wasn’t where she cheated or anything like that. The relationship just wasn’t going forward. In our time together, I feel I lifted her up. I have no resentment, and I wish her only love and well-being.”
Jim’s story reminded me of one of my favorites, documented in the Date Essence chapter of The Essential Flower Essence Handbook:
“I use Date every weekend to be nice to my boyfriend. We’ve been dating – no pun intended – for three months now and, although I love him dearly, he bores me to death. He’s just set in his ways and doesn’t want to change. I get irritable and testy, and then I start screaming at him. He still bores me, but on Date, I just put up with him.”
Also from the book are these Essence Enhancers, as we call them – activities to help physicalize the potent message of this flower essence:
“Develop the quality of hospitality-through having friends over for tea or dinner; by taking an official role as a greeter at your church, community center or formal social event; or by participating in family get togethers or reunions.
“Observe how you relate to discourteous drivers while out in traffic. Improve on this if necessary, especially when they irritate you.
“Do kindly things for friends and family, by anticipating their needs ahead of time-mending for a single friend or relative; bringing a cooked meal to someone who is ill; or delivering flowers to celebrate a birthday or house-warming.”
Date Essence can help us to see the unity rather than the division between ourselves and others. Its nature is to honor the unity, rather than the dissimilarity between all living things.
Jim exemplifies Date’s inability, or unwillingness, to judge others, as he understands that in so doing, he judges himself. “It’s my nature to not judge,” he says. “When it creeps up on me, I just say, ‘They’re doing the best they can.’ These thoughts come to me and give me a great sense of inner freedom.” In this sense, the sweetness of Jim’s Date Essence nature is a loving one.
Sophocles, who’s quote prefaces this post, is also known for saying, “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.”
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