Keywords: Kindness, Compassion
(excerpted from The Essential Flower Essence Handbook)
Qualities: Kindness, Compassion
Message of Self-Mastery: Forgiveness; sympathy; taking responsibility for one’s actions; benevolence; generosity; for releasing old wounds; desire to help others; the ability to “turn the other cheek.”
Pattern of Disharmony: Feelings easily hurt; a touchy nature; for taking things too personally; for when people say hurtful things; overreactive-ness; insensitivity; for lashing out; lacking understanding; blaming others; resentment; bitterness; attitude of “I don’t deserve this”; unkindness.
In kindness I am one with all. The perfume of unconditional love blows through me to touch their hearts.
|Able to let go||Generous|
|Sympathetic||Able to release hurts|
|Easily hurt Cruel|
|Insensitive to others||Unkind|
|Blaming of others||Lashing out|
“I wanted to be able to let go and forgive a former boyfriend. This took place on Raspberry. I also wanted to let go of blaming my daughter, to forgive her and myself for things that had happened between us. On Raspberry, a real shift took place within me and my attitude towards Juliette has changed. I feel that the hurt has healed.” -CNF, Palo Alto, CA
“My chiropractor muscle-tested me for Spirit-in-Nature. Raspberry came up really strongly. He called me a ‘tough nut to crack.’ I took it for a week and was able to see that I had been thinking only of myself in many of my relationships.” -JP, Los Angeles, CA
“I work with people a lot and periodically do month-long programs. I was concerned about not losing the connection with my students. Raspberry helped me stay connected.” -JV, Nevada City, CA
“Taking Raspberry for a week got me thinking about how I treat others in relationships. My response to this essence was very strong.” -JP, Ventura, CA
“My twenty-one-year-old daughter noticed a nice difference in me on Raspberry and wondered what had gotten into me.” -CL, Cottage Grove, OR
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates
profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” -Lao-tzu
This hardy species of the rose family was first cultivated four hundred years ago in Europe and now grows wild in Britain and much of the Northern hemisphere. The Cherokee Indians made much use of the purple variety. From the tiny white flowers on the thorny stems of this bramble fruit, upright canes grow and produce berries. Raspberries are a good source of vitamins A and C. They are an excellent cleanser for mucus, catarrhal conditions and for toxins in the body. Raspberry leaf tea is a superior female tonic, especially for pregnancy and painful menstruation.
(see explanation of The Essence Spectrum Chart)
Quadrant IV’s fourth house marks the turning point from Strawberry’s sense of self-worth to Raspberry’s heightened sensitivity to others. It is the house of kindness, forgiveness and compassion. Called the “healer’s essence,” Raspberry combines the feminine quality of the heart’s intuition with the finely aged wisdom that is characteristic of this last Quadrant. It is an apt transitional essence for Grape, being expansively loving and profoundly caring.
Raspberry could be called the essence for our age, with its feminine gentleness and compassionate nurturing so needed in these troubled times. One in the positive Raspberry state is both forgiving and compassionate. Similar to other Quadrant IV essences, positive Raspberry reflects our understanding that the hurts that come to us are our teachers. Our lesson is to reciprocate only love when others treat us poorly. Our task is not to retaliate, but rather to deflect their unkindness and thus be freed of any emotional thorns of inner conflict.
Those who have learned this lesson of Raspberry make excellent teachers, counselors and therapists. These individuals qualify for any occupation that involves working closely with others, for they have mastered the ability to transmute negative and harmful emotions. To hold a grudge does far more damage to the holder than the individual at whom it is directed. Grudges are like bricks-one by one, they create an entire wall of resentment, preventing a forward movement of energy. Grudges leave one heavy-hearted, even hard-hearted, instead of the desired opposite-kindhearted.
The positive Raspberry state acts as a vibrational salve for the wounds of the heart. The healing professions abound with individuals strong in Raspberry-like qualities, simply because their own past pains have taught them great compassion. Sympathizing, empathizing and listening are their hallmarks. Lastly, please know that you needn’t be emotionally wounded to take Raspberry. It also helps kind people to be even kinder!
The negative Raspberry condition is present in those who are easily hurt; who react emotionally; who lash out without apparent reason or who are just plain “not nice.” All of these actions can indicate either an immaturity, in the sense of not yet having matured, or an aftershock to an emotional wound not yet healed. Men more often than women tend to express this angry/hurt pattern because our culture does not allow them to openly show their feelings. Those who do so may find themselves objects of ridicule that only serves to further suppress their true feelings.
If Raspberry is the essence for forgiveness, then the negative Raspberry state is one of bitterness, resentment and blaming others. Administering this essence will either allow the issue in question to dissolve or to be talked out until the emotional climate is cleared.
Raspberry is the essence for partners in relationships that terminate without satisfactory reconciliation. When dear friendships end on a bitter note, Raspberry is indicated. For long-term relationships ending in separation with no friendship salvaged, this essence is again recommended. When marriages dissolve into ugly court battles or lingering animosities, again, look to Raspberry. Sadly, ours is a culture rent with divorce, although there are cases in which no other solution is possible. Especially if children are involved, Raspberry helps to initiate a peaceable friendship and thereby minimize the emotional scarring for all involved.
(see explanation of Theme Flower Essences)
The physical characteristics of the Raspberry theme are subtle. Similar but not identical to Date’s softness around the eyes, Raspberry theme energy is detectable as a gentleness in the eyes. Looking into the eyes of a Raspberry theme will make you want to pour out your heart. The unspoken message is, “I am here for you. Please share anything that will help you to make peace with yourself.” A Raspberry theme is trusting, trustworthy and “safe” to talk to. Look for those rosy Raspberry cheeks so characteristic of this theme.
You will not find many Raspberry themes in the public eye, but rather administering loving support behind the scenes. These are the quiet cheerleaders and champions of humanity-the counselors, teachers and volunteer workers. Like Banana themes, they make wonderful listeners. Similar to Almond themes, they remain inconspicuous and tend to pass unnoticed through life’s maddening crowds. You could say that Raspberry themes are “all heart”-and the heart at its best excels in the quality of loving receptivity.
Interestingly, in the context of food combining, raspberries are the only fruit that can be eaten with either acidic or alkaline foods. Metaphorically speaking, the Raspberry theme being self-forgiving and forgiving of others, can move through life quietly, able to mix with many different personality types.
FAMOUS THEME PERSONALITIES
- Forrest Gump
- Dr. Edward Bach
- Joseph Cornell
- Anne Frank
- Maria Montessori
- Oprah Winfrey
- Carrie Chapman Catt
- Edgar Cayce
- Corrie Ten Boom
“I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.” With these words, Forrest Gump-the film’s star and namesake-quietly accepted his sweetheart’s marriage proposal rejection. He harbors no bitterness and no need to retaliate. There is only his straight-from-the-heart Raspberry theme confession. The movie, Forrest Gump, spans three decades of American history. From polio survivor to football legend, from Vietnam war medals to White House honors, Mr. Gump became the world’s most unassuming “godzillionaire.” He used the resources of his heart and his wallet to enrich the lives of those around him.
Polio confined the young Forrest to leg braces. In one of the film’s more powerful scenes, we see a slow-motion close-up of his legs. As he begins to “run like the wind blows,” Forrest breaks free of his braces, and of the delusion of physical frailty. Ironically, he is chased by bullies in this scene, for whom he harbors no ill will. The young Forrest, caring to a fault, expresses the depth of Raspberry’s forgiveness by returning only love to his aggressors-his unkind schoolmates, a bitter lieutenant and the woman who scorns him for many years.
Lest we be tempted to label Forrest as a Spinach theme merely on the basis of a below-average IQ, a Spinach sub-theme is more accurate for the positive qualities of his childlike nature. Set in a time of our country’s rebellious hippie drug years, Forrest’s Spinach-like innocence and trust of people’s innate goodness inspire us. An accusatory, sarcastic Lieutenant Dan who lost both legs in the war-and a perfect example of the negative Raspberry state-barks, “Gump, have you found Jesus yet?” With Spinach-like simplicity, Forrest responds, “I didn’t know I was supposed to be lookin’ for ‘im.”
CONFESSIONS OF A RASPBERRY THEME: IN DENICE’S WORDS
“I love being around people. I really enjoy one-on-one interactions, and I like in-depth conversations. I’m not really good at small talk, nor do I enjoy it. I never know what to say in small talk! There’s just so much else to say, I feel really foolish. I’d just rather go to the heart.
“Qualities I most admire in others? There are so many! I especially admire those who share unconditional love and are non-judgmental and open-hearted, and balanced with head and heart. I really value the heart qualities. Now that I think about it, I have tremendous respect for people who have a lot of heart but are also clear thinkers and practical.
“I’m certainly striving to be kind-hearted. I feel like my mother is the epitome of kind-hearted-just so loving and giving to others. I think it’s something to aspire to. I don’t know that I’ve reached it. It’s my ideal, though I feel I’ve fallen short of it.
“My feelings are easily hurt, and I have to work at not taking things so personally. Right now, I’m doing a lot of introspection. I’m working now on releasing old wounds. I feel like God said, ‘I’m going to give you an incredible home and life in which to release all your old pain.’ I was saying to my husband today that I feel like I should be an old, wise woman. That’s really what I want to be-kind of a feminine nurturer, the crone figure who can help others because she’s experienced it or just because she knows.
“I love raspberries! Making raspberry jam-giving it away as presents in those wonderful little jars at Christmastime. It’s my favorite icing on chocolate cake. I don’t do chocolate icing on chocolate cake, only raspberries on top!”
WRAPPING IT UP
There is a true story of a rabbi who lost his entire family-wife, child and parents-in the Holocaust. Epitomizing the positive Raspberry state, he chose forgiveness over bitterness and resentment. Why? He said he did not want to bring Hitler along with him on his move to America.
Forgiveness heals the body as well as the heart. The contrary is also true. Studies have shown that reliving past hurts over and over again is physically harmful and that the mere memory of an unresolved bitter incident is stressful to the heart. Lingering grudges have been linked to coronary artery disease, high blood pressure and lowered immunity to other diseases.
Raspberry, then, is a vital essence for emotional well-being. In choosing to let go of past hurts, we embrace health. As Confucius reminds us, “To be wronged is nothing unless you remember it.” In taking responsibility for our actions-being loving instead of nursing hurts-we become whole in ways that allow us to in turn help others in their quest for wholeness. Raspberry is the healer of hurts; the comforter of pain; the balm for the wounded warrior who refuses to exit the battlefield until he has conquered every obstacle to his goal-the ability to love perfectly.
|RASPBERRY||Contrasted With:||Companioned With:|
|Cherry||for lightheartedness||to balance lightness with depth of insight|
|Grape||for relating to others without expectation or need||for a heart that is both open and fearless|
|Peach||for compassion, caring deeply for others||for “being there” for those in need|
Develop existing friendships. Call a good friend and just be a listener.
If you have any friendships or relationships that have ended bitterly or are unresolved, patch them up. If this is not possible due to death or their unwillingness, work with prayer to reach a resolution within yourself. Other options are: a self-help book or prayer.
Repeat the following visualization until you feel the relationship in question is cleared of all negativity.
Sit quietly in a comfortable place.
With closed eyes, focus your attention at your heart center-not the physical organ but the center of your astral spine that both gives and receives love. The physical heart is finite; the heart’s spirit is infinite. Feel the boundaries of your heart expanding. Identify yourself with that boundless expanse of space. Now draw to mind friends and family members whom you love. Perhaps some have passed on or moved away. Let not time or distance impede the flow of kindly, loving thoughts to them.
Imagine these dear people, one by one, as children. One at a time, reach down and take each one’s hand as you walk through a flowered mountain meadow together. Feel a current of love coursing from your heart through your arm, and out your palm into theirs.
Hold this image of walking through a meadow. This time, though, the person’s hand in yours belongs to someone who has deeply hurt you. Resist the instinctive, self-protective desire to withdraw your hand. Deliberately and consciously extend a flow of heart energy to this individual. Rather than focusing on the details of what needs to be forgiven and whatever sharp thread of bitterness that remains, concentrate on sending love.
Let these waves of love blend with the delicate aroma of the wildflowers and the cool mountain breeze. To give love to those dear to you is kindly; to return only loving kindness to those who have hurt you is heroic.